Skip to main content

the dynamics of a break up

For sometime now i have been studying the dynamics of break ups..not the why's and how's of the reason for two people to end the relation ship , but actually delving on the psych of the people involved ..namely the DUMPER and the DUMPEE..the dumper is the person who ended the relationship, the person who dumped. and the dumpee is the person who got dumped..
now breaking up is an emotionally wraught situation...where one person gets blamed and there is a lot of general un happiness, for a love that ended before forever.
the dumpee, is sad, feels let down, wallows in self pity. has a dozen shoulders to cry on ..even the dumper's best friend will come to concole, or sympathise. the song on music channels, and the radio know exactly what you are going through .. i will survive.. un break my heart.. alvida..akhiri alvida... almost all atif aslam and mohd rafi songs..!!! the dumpee gets away with eating as much and drinking as much as they want , all to drown their sorrows.. enough said this world , my friends is a pro dumpee world.
the dumper on the other hand has to go through a series of insecurities..did i do right? ..she wasnt so bad, we had had some good times..? ..he wasnt my type, but will i ever find my type ? do i even know what i want ?
not just the insecurity but also the guilt!! i shouldn't have broken up today..i should have told him a long time ago ...i should have waited another week.. i should have told him tomorrow.. i should have told him yesterday.. i should have ...
and this insecure , guilt ridden person , has no shoulder to cry on!!
i mean what do you do..go to your mom and i dumped my boy friend..sniff.!!
Even the songs in movies make the dumper out to be the evil bad guy..who goes around breaking hearts' letting trust down' ...and so on and so forth...

it's not that i am patronising people who go around dumping people, or 'breaking hearts' , but i feel that the end of a relationship , hurts both parties involved.. and it's just that one of them decided to take a step, so that both of the people involved, have another chance at a meaningful, fulfilling, love like relationship..which might be the forever types...[too conplicated]

i feel that this general pro dumpee and anti dumper world is dangerous.first, people are so scared of being the dumper that they continue to stay in a relationship ,even when in their hearts, they know that it is over.they continue to sacrifice themselves to uphold their partners and the world's view of a forever love.
also many a times, the dumper returns to the partner , beacuse of the above mentioned guilt and insecurities..
Well ..if you thought that love was complicated , then getting out of it, isn't a cake walk either..:)


Akshay said…
Hehe..loved it babemoshai!!nice one..quite different from ur regulars..but for Gods sake give them better names yaar..dumper is arite but dumpee?!! makes him/her sound far more sadder even..
Parag said…
Hahaha... Good one :)
Tamal said…
Well... I should say...
You have given a try to describe a lot complicated stuff in a heuristic manner. Good one...
Amir said…
Disclaimer: this story doesnt bear any resemblance to reality and all the characters in this story are fictional. he he:-)..just kiddin
Unknown said…
caution: this is kuheli today morn.. she might not have the same views tomorrow :P


i m kiddin ku.. i totally agree with your views.. though i have no experience of either ;) but then again that is just one category of dumpers rite

Popular posts from this blog

Watered - The premier women's retreat

 " Can you imagine a woman that knows her worth, honours her body and walks in her power and truth. a woman that stands for true sisterhood, and loves without conditions A woman so strongly rooted in the rhythms of nature, that she embodies all things real and sacred. That woman is you. "   " Nourish Your Soul, Nurture Your Dreams: Experience 'Watered' - The Premier Women's Retreat!"   Imagine a beautiful beachside retreat, you wake up to a soulful sunrise followed by movement meditation and walking meditations on the beach. Gorgeous plates of nourishing food as you gaze out at sea. Spend your mornings in creative and exciting activities. Spend your afternoons in connection with nature and connection with other women while playing games and sharing insights. And evenings attending drum circles on the beach, and end the day with sessions of singing bowls, gratitude practices and dancing in the moonlight. If you have always wanted to go to a girl'

The Goddess Collection

  Unleash Your Goddess Potential: Awaken, Rise, and Transform Your Life! Welcome, Ladies! Are you ready to tap into your highest potential and embrace the magic that has been waiting for you all along? It's time to liberate yourself from limitations and embody your true authentic self. Introducing The Goddess Collection, my signature 24-day Feminine Energy course that will unlock your full potential and lead you to a life filled with joy, abundance, and ease. Are you searching for answers about your purpose, your life, and your destiny? Do you feel a deep inner calling to live a life of alignment and freedom? Are you ready to manifest your wildest desires for love, joy, purpose, and connection? If you've been doing all the vision boards, journaling, and affirmations but haven't seen the changes and transformations you desire, it's time for a new approach. The Goddess Collection is the answer you've been waiting for. This comprehensive program provides you with a sys

Ready to Realign

  Ready to Realign The unique health and wellness program – designed for the busy and the ambitious.   -Focuses on building lifestyle habits -100 micro habits that make you 1% better everyday -No restrictive diets, no exercise plans, no calorie counting -Helps you realign and rediscover your own unique body, -By working to realign your gut health, your response to stressful situations and your unique sleep patterns. -Helps build immunity, increase longevity, balance hormones, reduce stress, build resilience to handle stress, sleep better, suited for all ages from 6 to 96. -All course notes in a printable format, all instruction videos online, no restrictive live classes. -Lifetime access to all course material   Why is health important, especially for the Busy and ambitious? You value your dreams, goals, aspirations and work hard towards them. You understand the importance of peak health, a state where you can work at your peak performance without feeling bu