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the dynamics of a break up

For sometime now i have been studying the dynamics of break ups..not the why's and how's of the reason for two people to end the relation ship , but actually delving on the psych of the people involved ..namely the DUMPER and the DUMPEE..the dumper is the person who ended the relationship, the person who dumped. and the dumpee is the person who got dumped..
now breaking up is an emotionally wraught situation...where one person gets blamed and there is a lot of general un happiness, for a love that ended before forever.
the dumpee, is sad, feels let down, wallows in self pity. has a dozen shoulders to cry on ..even the dumper's best friend will come to concole, or sympathise. the song on music channels, and the radio know exactly what you are going through .. i will survive.. un break my heart.. alvida..akhiri alvida... almost all atif aslam and mohd rafi songs..!!! the dumpee gets away with eating as much and drinking as much as they want , all to drown their sorrows.. enough said this world , my friends is a pro dumpee world.
the dumper on the other hand has to go through a series of insecurities..did i do right? ..she wasnt so bad, we had had some good times..? ..he wasnt my type, but will i ever find my type ? do i even know what i want ?
not just the insecurity but also the guilt!! i shouldn't have broken up today..i should have told him a long time ago ...i should have waited another week.. i should have told him tomorrow.. i should have told him yesterday.. i should have ...
and this insecure , guilt ridden person , has no shoulder to cry on!!
i mean what do you do..go to your mom and i dumped my boy friend..sniff.!!
Even the songs in movies make the dumper out to be the evil bad guy..who goes around breaking hearts' letting trust down' ...and so on and so forth...

it's not that i am patronising people who go around dumping people, or 'breaking hearts' , but i feel that the end of a relationship , hurts both parties involved.. and it's just that one of them decided to take a step, so that both of the people involved, have another chance at a meaningful, fulfilling, love like relationship..which might be the forever types...[too conplicated]

i feel that this general pro dumpee and anti dumper world is dangerous.first, people are so scared of being the dumper that they continue to stay in a relationship ,even when in their hearts, they know that it is over.they continue to sacrifice themselves to uphold their partners and the world's view of a forever love.
also many a times, the dumper returns to the partner , beacuse of the above mentioned guilt and insecurities..
Well ..if you thought that love was complicated , then getting out of it, isn't a cake walk either..:)


Akshay said…
Hehe..loved it babemoshai!!nice one..quite different from ur regulars..but for Gods sake give them better names yaar..dumper is arite but dumpee?!! makes him/her sound far more sadder even..
Parag said…
Hahaha... Good one :)
Tamal said…
Well... I should say...
You have given a try to describe a lot complicated stuff in a heuristic manner. Good one...
Amir said…
Disclaimer: this story doesnt bear any resemblance to reality and all the characters in this story are fictional. he he:-)..just kiddin
abbas.rupawala said…
caution: this is kuheli today morn.. she might not have the same views tomorrow :P


i m kiddin ku.. i totally agree with your views.. though i have no experience of either ;) but then again that is just one category of dumpers rite

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