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status quo

I just watched 'love aaj kal' and there was this dialogue between saif and deepika, just when she is right in the middle of her wedding, "to tumhara status kya hai?are you married..are we..". The line also gets repeated when they decide to break up amicably and remain friends.
That got me thinking about this 'status ' stuff. the one-worder we all fill in when we make a facebook or orkut profile..status- single, committed, engaged, married, or the more versatile 'it's complicated'.
As a kid , we got asked by parents, 'so whose your best friend?' whose your 'close friend'. It's like people must be neatly categorised and put away in their neat little status slots. So you pick out your best friend and place him in the boy friend slot, or you down grade your best friend to 'just friends' or plain 'acquaintances'.
Relationships go through a natural change, and some times they don't. some times you could be travelling to college in the local train every day, meeting these people every day, share some happy, some exasperating moments with them ,while they offer you home made khakra. How do you categorise them.
You already have a boy friend, a best friend, tons of great friend, some more good friends, have the world is your 'friend' and then along comes some one, you share a great equation with. You chat online, call sometimes. The person is somewhere between an acquaintance and a very close friend, but you can't describe what the person means to you. So what do you say- sorry house full. Is there a status called- unclassified.
Another situation, where Great friends fall apart, or after a break up wher the ex couple are not hating each others guts. Where in the scheme of things sre they?I get asked sometimes how are things with some one I had a fall out with ,I say 'we're neutral'.
Relationships are not static. They have a vector. They are moving ,dynamic. So we have phrases like 'I don't like the way are relation ship is going' or 'I think we should take this relationship to another level' .
Statuses make friendships, relationships sound like videogames- level one acquantainces, level 2 just friends, 3 friends, good friends, best friends, soul mates....
But what if someone doesn't fit in your classification, defies your status tags, or worse, is a contender for a tag that's already taken. Because every one knows there can only be one best friend, that's why it's called best, and not 'better' or 'as good'.
I wish we would do away with asking the question ' so where do we stand, or hum apke hain kaun?' and just enjoy what we have. anyways as the bard said "what's in a name?"


Anonymous said…
I so agree!Labeling relationships can be daunting at times.Worse is when you know how bad things are and people keep prodding you know where exactly a person stands especially when the matter is of heart.

When you know love is dying,it's mere friendship but you still love the person only the partner wants to end it up and be "just friends"!
And how the BFF break apart and become "ummm friend"

Happy Friendships' Day!I am yet to see the movie!

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