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arranged marriage- the great indian equation.

The world over, genius mathematicians are hard at work trying to solve some of the most baffling mysteries of our times and yet they remain unaware of the most intriguing of all equations.. the equation of the Indian arranged marriage.
On the face of it, marriage proposals seem like a simple equation.. good looks + good family background + educated + stable job = perfect match. Ah but if it were only so simple, there are some things which are not simple addition factors. So you have family acceptance which is a multiplication factor, foreign degree which is raised to the power of 2 , then there is green card which is a raise to the power of 4 and almost a deal clincher.Then there are division factors such as height , skin colour, short hair, big feet, and the absolute disasters like manglik, and low caste and squint.
So you think to yourself.. hmm that doesn't seem too complicated. WAIT. There's more. Then there is a whole different set of factors related to the family. What does her brother do? The mother is not from the same caste. The sister had a previous broken marriage.. the second cousin was a small time thief. Or a far of uncle is the right hand man , of the right hand man of the Ambani's.
The plot thickens.. You're wondering 'where do I fall in this great Indian equation?' The thing is every person constructs there own equation.. so you might meet a guy for whom money is just an addition factor, while you come across a girl for whom money is a multiplication factor.So there isn't really any fool proof way of knowing how much you amount to.
Important thing is to construct your own equation, so that it helps you rate the men/women, you are asked to evaluate. Remember the prerequisite to the Indian equation is- you must not be attracted, or be in love with this person. Love and the like, completely skew the equation.
Many a time, a beautiful equation is constructed, all the factors are balanced, the relatives congratulate themselves, gloat at there own brilliance. 'wah wah ramji, jodi kya banayi.' This is the great Indian love story, the stuff of dreams coming true, lives and families uniting. Then WHAM, last minute 'X factor', could be the most trivial of things, a skeleton in the closet, or more like a tiny bone of a skeleton in the closet tumbles out... "yeh shaadi nahi ho sakti!!!"
Back to the drawing board..constructing yet another logic defying equation.The Indian arranged marriage. A concept only the land of Aryabhatta could come up with. Whoever said Maths was boring?


Anonymous said…
Have never paid enough attention to my aunts when they have been busy match maybe i'm presenting a superficial description of:

arranged marriage-the great goan equation
Decent looking
never mind the crooked scar beneath the lip
well educated
but maybe having the occasional tongue slip
a good job
and once in a year a foreign trip
family not that bad
other than the distant uncle
who once smuggled gold into a ship
same caste,same class
preferably having good jeans...oops genes
and 'good character' whatever that means!

and preferably fair
educated and smart,
then only would it make good pair
if she's working
it's a bonus point there
good family background
same caste,same class
and 'good character'
are needed just like in the boy,
by now you must be aware.
Added requirement,should be homely
with eyes full of concern and care...

now that the girl and boy have been found
the families joys know no bounds
no 'janam patrikas' and 'rashees'
are involved here,
so that brings some more cheer
a few meetings later
and after making secret inquiries
many blessings later
and after family and extended family discoveries
after giving lots of gold
and exchanging commodities that are usually sold
all get together
and the couple smile and feel lucky
kyunki...baat humari pakki!

(btw it takes lots of cancellations and additions...searching and swapping... and other adjustments...before the above simplified equation is reached)
Kunal K said…
A beautiful blog which makes you smile!
What a beautiful insight. It's a mad crazy world we live in.

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