A week from the wedding and I was just wondering if I could rummage out my old personal diaries, and see if I have any thoughts on my marriage/wedding penned down from my childhood. It would be cool to read what I had written back then, and compare it to what I am feeling right now.
Turns out that most of my diary entries were about exams or academics related.
Nevertheless, I thought to myself it would be a good time to pen down my feelings about the impending wedding now, so that the future me could read about it maybe 20 years later.
So I decided to step back and let the feeling of wedding bliss take over me, but nothing much happened.
I tried to look at the bigger picture, but the fact of the matter was that right now, a week before the wedding IT IS NOT ABOUT THE BIGGER PICTURE. It is about the small picture, the tiny minuscule pictures even, It's about the DETAILs because as everyone knows God lies in the details. Now is not the time to reflect and reminisce, now ids the time to decide about bindi and mehendi designs. The flower decorations for the mandap, the desserts on the menu, and if the shoe matches the purse.
But, hey! this note is going to be for posterity and I owe it to my future self to write something evocative and beautiful. Evocative and beautiful!That's it !That's how are wedding Sangeet dance should be! Which reminds me that I better do my dance rehearsal. One step, two step, twirl , step, and back step….
I try to focus my mind once more on the Bigger Picture, the big picture is that two people who love each other are coming together in holy matrimony. Think about what attracted you first to Him, I tell myself. 'Really?! Now we are gonna talk about that!Did I not emphasise that right now the twinkling of the grooms eyes matter less than the twinkling lights which are part of the decor, and the important question here would be is do we have generator backup for the twinkling lights!'Well it was his boyish charmwhich had attracted me to him, but over the years the boy turned into a handsome albeit a serious, work oriented, focussed man, and I have no problems with that. I would much rather marry the Man rather than the Boy. Infact both of us have gone through the transition from 'boy and girl' to 'man and woman'.
Responsibilities and work are priorities which we live by. So where does a wedding fit into all of the 'work and responsibilities' ? Well quite frankly it pretty much springs up on you, like a mushroom on the road to life. 'I am getting married.' My out patients need to be notified, all my operated patients need a phone number by which they can reach me anytime, all operations and cases have to be cancelled, the hospital administration looks hassled, some try and bargain a few days of leave out of me "Do you really need a months leave? Dr so-and-so took only 5 days leave for wedding and honeymoon combined"
Let me not get started on the whole preparation for the leave. I am not talking about wedding preparations here, Iam just talking about the weaning away from my regular life. The fridge has to emptied, all leftovers eaten or thrown, the bai has to be given notice, and what do I do about my potted plants? The future of my potted plants kept me awake 2 nights and I was grateful that I didn't have pets. I tried hard to leave everything taken care off, not knowing if I will find all of them the same way after the wedding/honeymoon 'leave of absence'.It's like getting the ship ready for a set of eddie currents ,not very sure if the ship will be on the same sea after everything settles down.
If I take a page out of my diary, and my exam logs, then this is what I learnt-
There are long questions , and short questions, there are the compulsory stuff and the optional ones. There are one word answers and match the followings. Similarly in weddings there are the big questions and the compulsory need to answer ones, thankfully I know the answers to most of those. There are lots and lots of small questions but thankfully they are the optional kinds, and either or types, either the golden sandals, or the silver heels, the answers to which really won't make much difference in the total marks tally. Sigh!
One of the best things about exams was that a whole class full of us used to be giving the exams together. I love the fact that even in the wedding I have my whole family rallying around, pitching in and really making it a family event.
Love is a beautiful emotion but it is restricted to the two people involved.
Marriages on the other hand is about the whole family (at least inIndia), the mother has to get along with the mother in law and the brother with the brother in law.
Weddings are about more than just family; it is about school mates flying in from across the seas, college mates meeting up, coworkers and colleagues coming.It is about facebook friends flying in from different places to be part of the celebrations. It's about my dad's regiment friends, and mom's college mates and ladies club friends coming together.
A network of friends family and well wishers from all over the country and the world are brought together at one singular venue on a particular date, because of two people and their decision to spend their life together. Nothing gets bigger than that, that is the BIGGER PICTURE.