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Birthday retrospect : From resilience to antifragility


Happy Birthday to me !

Gosh, let me begin by bragging and being in gratitude- my brag is that this is the 14 th year that I am writing this birthday retrospect, and my gratitude is that there are people who are reading this, who have read ALL my previous 14 years of retrospects, or the past few 5-6 years at the least .

Most of you know my life, know my journey, and take the time each year to hold space for me to share my year with you. Thankyou. Thankyou for being a witness to all that is unfolding.

Before I wrote this year’s birthday blog – I got a bit nostalgic and re-read the posts from the past few years, so will take you all on a bit of a – journey so far, a recap of sorts. And also to see the story arc, the repeating of patterns, the growth in mindset.

2019 Birthday retrospect – I think no story can begin without this moment in my life. The title of the retrospect was Lebensmude and other Mid-Life things. In this post I spoke about how I was always someone living for the moment, in the moment, and in the ‘ oh my gosh the day/ week passed by so fast, thinking’, but from Nov 2018 to June 2019 I was in the ‘Gosh how long is this week taking, why are the days so long, why is life taking so long to pass. ‘ It was as if I was stuck in limbo, I was in Lebensmude the German word for ‘ Tired of living’ . What else is there to do, how much more of life to I have to continue? In the blog I share how Dairy milk silk oreo was my diet, and how I watched 900 hours of KDramas , and how Korean dramas were my best friend… the blog spoke about how I wanted to feel alive again, and the things I was trying to do to come out of this Mid- life stage. Now, in 2022, All my workshops, all my coaching is based around this – how to help busy, ambitious , magnificent women lead lives of ease, energy and excitement. So that they can live lives of resilience, even through mid-life struggles.

2020 Birthday retrospect – I wrote 2 birthday blogs, the first titled 35 days to 36, where for 35 days I set Health goals, skincare goals, writing goals ( I wrote a story every day), finance goals , and inter personal goals ( call one person from my phone book who I had not stayed in touch for past many years, it helped me reconnect with so many college , school friends), and gifting 5 gifts to 5 friends , and connecting with husband daily, and 1 hour play time with Shreysht. Also mental health goals, my discovery of meditation practices. Everything was documented and graded. All the new habits that worked, all the ones that didn’t. and this helped me form the base of many of my current fitness and health workshops, or how I guide women to be better mothers and wives inside my life coaching sessions. This setting a time bound birthday goal is something I have continued each year since 2020, this year it was reach 60 Kg before 17 September, will do another post on how that went. I now have a goal setting workshop module for others to have a template to work on.

The second birthday retrospect I wrote in 2020 was called pleasure is its own purpose. This was a strictly above 18 post, strictly for women, and it was about my own journey to discover my pursuit of pleasure staring Feb 2020, in the short time between Feb 2020 and Sept 2020 when the world was struggling with COVID , I had had the most brilliant sexual awakening. And I shared as much as I knew in the blog in 2020. Now exactly 2 years after the post, I vow that in 2023, Feb I will have a complete workshop where I will teach women what I have learnt in the past 3 years. In the past  years I have had the privilege to learn and explore from some of my favourite teachers. This has been one of my favourite topics to learn about, and I finally have a wonderful group of women inside my multidimensional sisterhood community, where I can share this work and knowledge. From Feb 2020 - Feb 2023 what a story arc it will be!


2021 birthday retrospect – The title was called sharing my gifts. It spoke about how I had done a Durga Puja food popup in Oct 2020, started my Goldkand journey in Jan 2021, and how I planned to do my first feminine awakening workshop titled ‘ Awaken your inner Goddess’ in Oct 2021. Infact I launched my first online workshop- on my last birthday! A mere 15 days before I conducted the workshop ! Last year this time I could never have guessed that what a huge success AYIG would be. I was filled with ‘what ifs’ And 18 amazing, trusting, beautiful women joined in that first workshop – and it was magical and brilliant and it spurred me to do another Navratri workshop this year called ‘ The Modern Mystic ‘ this year . I hope some of you beautiful women join this years batch of amazing, brilliant women, we begin 26 sept 2022, there is still time.

And now my thoughts in Sept 2022.

From the story arc I see-  I was struggling, and then everything I have done since then is a way to get out of that Lebensmude, to feel more alive, to feel more aligned , to surrender to the Human experience living in a 3 D world.

In one of the sessions I attended – they asked for one word that described my why – why do I teach what I teach inside my workshops – and my word was RESILIENCE.

Resilience is the ability to withstand and recover from difficult situations. Someone who could face difficulties without crumbling, falling into despair, or adopting unhealthy coping strategies.

Resilience is something I knew I had needed, I was in Lebensmude for 8 months ! That’s a long time to struggle, and I wanted to put into place habits, systems, exercises, daily meditations, mental mindsets, and everything I have learnt in the past 3 years into simple actionable courses and workshops. And I did.

And then I found another beautiful word. Called ANTIFRAGILITY .

Antifragility is the ability of something becoming stronger, after facing a difficult situation, the capability to thrive as a result of stressors, shocks, volatility, noise, mistakes, faults, attack or failures. The concept was coined by Nassim Nicholas Taleb.

Resilience is about surviving and recovering despite a difficult situation.

Anti – fragility is about thriving and getting even better because of the difficult situations!

And I realised I had not just survived my Lebensmude, I had not just recovered from my 2019 phase and gone back to 2018 me, I had upleveled, upskilled, become fitter, more aligned, more fulfilled, healed, magnetic, sensual, joyous and daring because of the stressors. I had learnt new skills, I had started new businesses, I had stepped into arenas I had never ever imagined I would – like being an entrepreneur, or a life coach. And the best thing is that it doesn’t end here, because the anti-fragile keep changing, keep pivoting, keep transmuting, keep evolving. Even I don’t know which way my life story will turn, if anything the past 3 years birthday retrospects have taught me, is that I never know what I am going to do next year !

I have tons more to talk about Epigenetics, and getting comfortable feeling uncomfortable , and the power of radical responsibility, and pleasure being the ultimate purpose of life, and the concept of PIVOT.

But, I think rather than tell, I want to show you, through my life actions.

And if you are inside my multidimensional soul sister community – I won’t just tell you, or show you, but actually make you experience the power of being antifragile.

-        This is not THE END, this is THE STORY UP UNTIL NOW.

If If you want to read the above blog posts

2021 birthday retrospect sharing my gifts

2020 birthday retrospect pleasure is the purpose

2020 birthday retrospect 35 days to 36

2019 birthday retrospect lebensmude





Jonasjoys said…
Resilience is like the backbone, it holds you up. I read everything, so go girl. Happy birthday, & a great journey ahead. Love.

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