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The Male Gaze

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Pleasure is its own purpose : Birthday retrospect 2020

   I turn 36 today, and in celebration of being 18 years older than 18, I am writing my first ‘strictly above 18 ’ blog post. Statutory warning, this post has explicit content, and you may want to stop right here, if female sexuality is something you are not interested in, or are dismissive of it. But, on second thought, if you are NOT interested in female, or any sort of sexuality, or are dismissive of it, that might be the best reason to read this article, because I was exactly like that most of my life. As a doctor of Science, I understood the basic evolutionary importance of Sex, but as a hard core romantic, who binge watched Rom-Coms, I found the actual act underwhelming, and if put bluntly over hyped, and skewed to satisfy the men. Sex just seemed a marketing gimmick to sell Love to men. As a productive, enthusiastic, creative , modern woman , I didn’t feel that I lacked anything, in fact if you look at the infographic here, the cocktail of human happiness hormones, sex is

35 days to 36. A 5 week birthday challenge

  35 days to 36 Last year, before my 35 th birthday I decided to put myself through a 3 week challenge to break my self-sabotaging habits, and basically jumpstart my self care routine, and it was a fabulous experience. I was someone who slept in her makeup, and didn’t bother with facewash and sunscreen on most days, and by the end of the 21 days I was able do a 5-step skin care routine both morning and night; habits that I continued through the year. Also, I started having my supplements of vit C and turmeric, in those 21 days, over the course of the year, I had added astaxanthin and vit D to the routine as well. So, this year, I decided to step it up, and added a LOT more things to the challenge, and challenged myself to a 5 week challenge which I like to call 35 days to 36. This time I was concentrating on not just myself, but my interpersonal relationships, my long term goals. I posted the entire list of my BEGIN AGAIN list as an Instagram post on 14 August, and here is the r

Parenting in the time of a Pandemic : Covid 2020

Parenting in the time of Pandemic Dr Kuheli Bhattacharya We recently celebrated Mother’s day in Lockdown, and as things stand, we might be celebrating father’s day in Lockdown aswell. By now every parent has been asked – So, how is it going , parenting in Lockdown? And on the surface this might look like the most benign question, but I assure you it has layers and sub text and nuanced understanding, like no other question about lockdown. So, I will give you the short and the long version of my answer to – parenting in these times. My short answer would be ; “I think it’s going good, all things considered .” Now, the key words here are ‘I think’ and ‘all things considered’ . Because let’s face it, when it comes to parenting , ‘I think’ is not the same as ‘ I know’ ; I think my child is feeling secure and loved , and is being homeschooled appropriately, but what do I know , right? Will my child turn into a maths genius having played the educational apps I downloaded , or w

Feeling at home, while we stay at HOME, lockdown 2020

As the world goes into phases of extended lockdown, all of us have been forced to stay at home. Home is where we have been trying to work from, and   spending our days seeking entertainment , comfort and safety. Which started a train of thoughts ; questions about what is a home, how do I make my home feel more homely? And what do I do if I don’t like the home that I am in? We might have travelled the entire world, and stayed in the plushest of hotel rooms, cosiest of inns and even been mesmerised in the grand outdoors, but the four walls of home is more than just a place to stay and sleep, if one is to believe the ‘School of Life’ – Homes have a memorialising function, and they help us to remember ourselves. It creates a sense of identity, and that is why we create temples of prayer, that house our idols and ideals; and just like temples of prayer, our own homes embody our values and merits. What does that mean in simple terms? It means that the chair which is more function

The inconvenience of Death

Is it inconvenient to talk about death on a Sunday morning? Would it be better if we talked about it on a Tuesday afternoon? The thing with death is that it never comes at a convenient time, especially the ‘untimely deaths’. That does make one question, what is ‘timely death’? One would argue the death of someone who is old, ailing, is already in the ICU on life support, the entire family is in town, and every one has taken a weeks leave from work, just waiting for the inevitable. Just a friendly wave at death ‘Ready when you are ‘, would be called a ‘convenient death’. Convenient, for the person who passes away, also convenient for those who must attend to the aftermath. But, untimely death is rarely convenient. The last week my whatsapp groups has been rife with untimely deaths : A badminton player was just 2 points away from victory, when he collapsed and died. A surgeon had just finished surgery, and dies before he even makes it out of the scrub room, a noted scholar dies on

Watch me bloom

Bougainvillea are getting their time in the sun! I always thought that the humble bougainvillea must definitely have been the step child of the flower God. I mean, to be stuck with a name like THAT! It's okay for a French Navy Admiral to be called 'Louis Antoine De Bouganville' but the narcissist named a flower after himself, what had the poor thing ever done to him? So, now you have the bougainvillea, a humble little flowering plant.   Just an average plain jane, even the petals aren't pretty, they aren't even called petals. The faux petals are actually 'bracts' and they look like coloured leaves more than petals. Miss plain Jane isn’t as talented as her pretty cousin the rose, you see it doesn't smell sweet either. I mean imagine Shakespeare saying… 'What's in a name.. a bougainvillea will never smell sweet even if it were called a rose." And so, I was surprised to see the celebration of Bougainvillea recently. To begin with, an